16 things rich Charlotte millennials love to love — and I don’t blame them for it

Here are 16 things rich Charlotte millennials love to love — and you know what?

I’m not going to judge them for it.

#1 — Doggy daycare

Does Fido really need to go to the $30/day doggie daycare with daily groomings, luxury kennels and 24-hour live stream cameras? Yes, yes he does.

#2  — Small plates

Why eat at a typical “large plate” restaurant when you can get the same food served on cuter plates for twice the price? Shareable lamb lollipops from Soul Gastrolounge always tastes better than normal lamb.

#3 — Urban groceries

Yup, millennials are killing grocery stores. Harris Teeter is okay (especially if it’s the Myers Park Teeter with $2 IPA drafts), but why mess with small parking spots and screaming children when you can soak up the hip vibes at Lincoln’s Haberdashery? Nothing feels better than being at an urban market made for skaters with an investment banking salary.

#4 — Blowouts for every occasion

5Church on Friday? Blowout. Ink & Ivy on Saturday? Blowout. Lunch with grandma on Sunday? Blowout. Rich millennials know that every social event is an opportunity for a Snap story, so looking your best is crucial.

#5 — Bar crawls

A $20 T-shirt, a group of six or more people and a bladder large enough to withstand 45-minute long bathroom lines are all you need to prove to everyone on Snapchat that you are, indeed, super fun.

#6 — Ridiculous apartments

$250,000 cookie cutter in Fort Mill? Please, this isn’t the 1970’s. Suburbia sucks. Besides, why would a rich Charlotte millennial want to trade a rooftop saltwater pool for hours of traffic, lawn work and disgusting strip malls?

#7 — Meal prep services

It’s not easy being strictly gluten-free from Monday to Thursday afternoon. But there’s no need to hit up the urban grocery store when you can have wheat-free food delivered right to your door for the low price of $20 a meal.

#8 — Trendy workout classes

Running on a treadmill is so 2016. If a fitness class doesn’t contain the words aerial, barre, trapeze or flywheel, count them out. Everyone knows that the best, most effective rich millennial workout costs $25 a class and involves swinging from the ceiling like you’re Nicole Kidman in Moulin Rouge.

#9 — Topgolf

Actual golf is for olds. Why pack Bud Lights in the side pocket of your golf bag and go (gasp) outdoors when you can have a climate controlled bay, club music, full menu and craft beer on draft?

#10 — $14 Cocktails

$5 Jack and Cokes are fine after 1 a.m., but real cocktails are made by a libation artisan who is a pro at muddling mint, frothing egg whites and then setting the whole drink on fire for no apparent reason.

#11 — Working remotely

The fluorescent lighting of the modern office building is a huge killer of the rich millennial’s creativity. Ugh, they just can’t get anything done there. That’s why they prefer setting up their laptops at eclectic coffee shops where they can surf Facebook in peace.

#12 — Ordering ridiculous foods, just for Instagram

For rich Charlotte millennials, the crazier the food, the better. But, be warned, just because they snap a photo of them holding a bacon, egg and cheese between two donuts or three scoops of raw cookie dough in an ice-cream cone, doesn’t mean they actually ate it.

#13 — Locally sourced anything

Locally sourced honey? Check. Locally sourced olive oil? Check. Locally sourced tater tots? A must have.

#14 — Brunch

No list about rich Charlotte millennials would be complete without mentioning brunch. And, seriously, if you didn’t finish two bottles of champagne before noon, did you even brunch?

#15 — Cat cafés

Even rich millennials with a severe cat allergy won’t pass up a chance to ‘gram the felines at Mac Tabby.

#16 — Avocado toast (duh)

Jelly’s okay (especially if it’s the biscuit jelly at Flying Biscuit), but avocado spread is better. Slice the avocado thin and drizzle that artisanal olive oil. Sun-dried tomato garnish? Hell yes.