Oct 20, 2016 - Things to Do

We asked 19,000 people about the Charlotte dating scene. Here’s what they said.



Recently, we reached out to our 19,000+ Agenda newsletter subscribers and asked them: How would you grade the dating scene in Charlotte? And what are your thoughts on the Charlotte dating scene? Below are the results.

(Note: If you’d like to participate in our hot list voting, join the 19,116 smart, good looking Charlotteans that have signed up for our newsletter)

How would you grade the dating scene in Charlotte?

  • A: 8.73%
  • B: 36.93%
  • C: 37.44%
  • D: 11.56%
  • F: 5.34%
Party at Sycamore Brewing

Top 100 comments from our dating survey:

“The dating scene is unpromising at best. The hook-up scene on the other hand is an A+++.”

“Charlotte is weird for dating. It’s like there are too many women so it’s ultra competitive or maybe guys just don’t want to settle down.”

“If you’re in the scene for fun then you’re in the right place but if you’re looking for a meaningful relationship you’ve got your work cut out for you. Charlotte has become very superficial and everybody is waiting for something better to come along than focusing on what they have in front of them. I am just as guilty in this, but it is a product of the environment we are in.”

“If I meet one more guy who works in finance and whose primary hobby is drinking I will lose my mind.”

“I dated most everyone who had both a face and a job on Tinder. I loved it. I met my boyfriend of two years on that app. I think the dating scene is exceptional despite what all my friends would tell you. It’s all about taking chances. Bonus: Men are typically not photogenic so you’re usually in for a pleasant surprise when you meet them.

“I’m really not into the bro’d out, preppy, Vineyard Vines type. Blech.”

“Too many ex frat stars. Give me diversity and some hunka hunka outdoorsy guys.”

“For an ex Special Forces guy it’s pretty easy pickins in this city of metrosexual girly men…especially since most of them are candy asses from up north…”

“CLT is full of people who are committed to their career first and relationship second. Finding a person who is willing to devote time to another person is extremely hard to find.”

“Same people. Men are just out to date as many women as possible. Women are looking for men with money.”

“What happened to Southern Charm?”

“Lots of attractive, available, stable men (from a female perspective). I used to live in Charleston and the dating scene was the worst.”

“Seriously. Every guy I meet is so invested in this bizarre idea of masculinity and vanity and traditional gender roles that say I’m supposed to look a certain way and talk a certain way and act a certain way, that I feel like there’s not any room for me to just be myself. Where are all the hairy dudes who like smart girls and wear skirts? Where are the guys who really step out and are so different and think globally and want to subvert gender roles and white supremacy and the status quo? I’m over the pastel shorts, the men who think that having a hot “girl” on their arms somehow makes him more of a man, and the hipsters who think that if they listen to Father John Misty maybe people won’t notice that they only date a woman if she fits into a certain dress size and ups his social capital.”

“I’m married. Do people date anymore or just Snap their genitals to interested parties?”

“Dating for 40+ is extremely difficult”

“Wasteland if you’re over 45”

“It’s great for my 27-year-old daughter, but awful for me, her 54-year-old mom.”

“Men in Charlotte are too buttoned up, too shy, etc. With so many people marrying young or in serious relationship, it’s not a great city for singles in my opinion.”

“I’m sure I’m just looking in all of the wrong places, but as a young, successful, outgoing female, it is very hard to find mature, dateable guys here. It seems like it’s all young guys that grew up in Charlotte and just came back to live off their parent’s money. Too many f***boys!!”

“Women are either looking to immediately get married or have a one night stand – nothing in between. In dating apps it is a very small pool of people.”

“Everybody just wants to hookup. There is a major underground STD problem in Charlotte that needs more awareness.”

“People need to be more creative than – “Let’s drink!'”

“There are lots of opportunities to meet people..but for some reason it still seems challenging. I ultimately had to turn to eHarmony.”

“Online dating = B+. Real World Dating = D+.”

“Better for men than for women.”

“Creativity, guys…not Netflix and chill.”

“LAME; as a 31 year old single woman, every man I encounter is living the “cushy single boy lifestyle,” which I have determined is a result of: men being paid way too much in their current jobs, being way too comfortable being single (even though they say “they want a relationship”), and then when said relationship happens realizing it’s cramping their “cushy single boy lifestyle.” Needless to say – so grim on that front.”

“Every man seems to be married, and if he isn’t married, he is not looking to date.”

“Straight female here – there’s a severe shortage of really interesting, multi-faceted, and insightful men in this town. Too many polo shirts.”

“I think Charlotte has a lot of opportunities and cool spaces to meet people but it seems like there is a general fear of approaching people. In general, Charlotte, let’s grow some balls.”

“Bumble has much more beautiful people than Tinder, FYI.”

“This may not be a Charlotte issue, more so, a Southern culture issue but everyone is either in a relationship or looking for one. For example, when I mention to people I’m headed out to dinner with someone they immediately ask, ‘on a date?!’ No. I’m happily single, don’t force your southern misconceptions on me. Where are the people down for just sex? Or did they all flee to NYC after their 2-year iBanking stint ended here.”

“WHERE ARE THE POLITE YOUNG PROFESSIONAL MEN? Also it’s like no one is actually interesting in ‘dating.'”

“The bar scene is too young, and online dating seems to draw more of the ‘I want to just hook up’ crowd. Would be nice if there were more options than bars, breweries and the like to meet someone.”

“Moved here 4 years ago, knowing no one, joined Match.com because I was having zero luck out on my own. After a few lame dates, found a keeper. We’re getting married next week. :)”

“This male from the north does not find the whole Southern belle thing charming or cute, I and just can’t seem to connect with them. There are plenty of attractive women here, just not that many that I would consider as a partner. I’ve felt a significant difference in culture and values between folks from the north vs south. My other complaint is that an inordinately high percentage of the single women here (based admittedly anecdotal and not empirical data) are either nurses or teachers. Not that there’s anything wrong with nurses or teachers (except teachers who are so boring), but it seems like it’s totally impossible to find a single woman in CLT who does something different. So that’s why I gave it a C. The irony is not lost on me, by the way, that the Southern ladies who are answering this poll are probably saying they can’t connect with northern guys and why are they all bankers (I’m not a banker).”

“As someone from Atlanta, the dating scene is phenomenal in Charlotte. If I’m not going on dates regularly, its by (my) choice.”

“I don’t date because that would piss off my wife.”

“Guy to girl ratio is much better than in college, where it was 70% girls.”

“All the guys are literally cookie cutter: either young, cocky bankers or redneck country boys. Where are the real men in this town? Oh…married or gay….that’s right….”

Being Jewish, the Jewish dating scene for Males ( I am) is tough, especially looking for a nice Jewish girl (NJG)

“Everyone is a transplant so the urge to meet new friends and try new things is there sort of like a college town. I’ve found that it’s like a big small city where everyone is looking to date but no one is looking to commit.”

“CLT is a city of young professionals. I’ve never had any issues finding a new partner :)”

“Bumble app is the way to go!”

“Very few of the men want to ask women out in person. They need to learn how to man up and ask women out in real life instead of via social media or a dating app. When you do find someone you like, they want the benefits of a relationship but don’t want to take you on a date.”

“From what I have observed with my friends, if I was single, I would just quit.”

“Meetups are fun, but a lot of the crowd seems superficial, at least where I’ve been looking.”

“Online dating is the only option.”

“Where do you meet someone these days? I’m fairly social, but nobody seems to approach anyone anymore. Too many apps.”

“There aren’t a lot of options to meet black professionals that also want a black professional.”

“As a gay male, difficult to find men with ambition, education, intellect.”

“I was 29 when I moved to Charlotte 10 years ago and I moved from SF. When I got to CLT I felt like everyone my age was married and having kids so I did match.com and met my now husband within weeks.”

“Terrible for singles with children.”

“When I was doing online dating, all of the guys seemed the same. Frat-tactic, and that’s not my scene.”

“Most men are metro sexual and so full of themselves.”

“After many trials and tribulations in the Charlotte dating scene (including my first ever ghosting experience), I met my current boyfriend on Tinder. It took nearly 2 years for me to find someone so I don’t envy current singles.”

“It’s a finance city – so it’s a little bro heavy, and it’s a little bruh heavy.”

“I was able to meet a woman out at the bar and we are now married, but most of the single people I speak to now say it’s very difficult. Men don’t seem to be looking for anything serious and women come across as too picky.”

“You meet the same versions of the same people over and over. Too many NC state/UNC/insert big state school here frat dudes who never grew up.”

“I had to resort to eHarmony – but I married the cat I was matched up with!”

“Where are the normal girls!”

“Most people are a solid 6, but everyone (especially dudes), all think they only deserve 10s and don’t give a lot of girls a chance.”

“Very hard for mid 30 dating. I know single women who say the Charlotte market is hard would love some ideas or advice here for meeting someone in their mid thirties.”

“Easy to meet people. There are still gentleman and sane women out there folks!”

“I met my husband out in Charlotte at Dandelion Market.”

“If you’re old like me….. Impossible!!!”

“Men are fat, bald, and scared to ask a woman out on a simple date.”

“Everyone is cookie cutter and the girls wouldn’t know a good guy if they met one. It’s all about money in Charlotte.”

“Most younger people don’t seem to want to commit to a relationship. Also, everyone knows everyone.”

“Guys are too afraid to approach women.”

“As a single woman I can definitely find a date, but they aren’t always the best quality. This could be because I can be a little picky… but my dad told me to keep my standards high!”

“Bad gay scene.”

“Do men ever go up to women anymore? Or are we forever subjected to Tinder?”

“Almost all of the gay guys were pretty effeminate and all wanted that ONE elusive alpha-male. My straight, single, girl friends also have a pretty rotten time fighting for C+ guys who are stuck in their Kappa Sig days from, oh I don’t know- Chapel Hill. They wind up being yanked around because the dating pool is so damned small and guys know that they’re a rarity.”

“People are so scared of rejection, they would rather deal with people not swiping to match then asking people in person.”

“Everything is based on Tinder, Bumble etc.. Everyone just wants to text to feel their ‘dating.’ Very few in-person meetups happen.”

“Not enough equally matched professionals…college degree and employed still leaves a lot to be desired. Especially in more diverse communities.”

“Particularly hard if you are not in your 20s and don’t do online dating.”

“Lots of hookups but no real connections it seems.”

“It’s so laaaaaaaaaaaaaame!”

“It is very meh. Mostly Party Bros not looking for commitment who work a lot which is cool when you are right out of college but not in your mid-late 20’s.”

“There don’t seem to be as many “eligible” men as women.”

“It sucks, everyone is either so absorbed in their phone that it makes it impossible to anyone new organically.”

“The gay (male) community feels small. Everyone seems to know everyone.”

“Lots of grass is always greener and peter pan complexes ’round these parts.”

“Impossible if you aren’t part of the online dating scene.”

“Lots of basic white girls and frat boys…so if that’s your thing.”

“Lots of bachelors who have no clue what they want/don’t want to settle down. Great options for casual talking/hooking up/friendship, though!”

“My sister and I both found our long-term (1 year +) boyfriends within 1-2 months of moving here. I’ve found that my friends who find the dating pool here weak, are the ones who “hang out in groups” instead of only accepting “one on one” real dates.”

“I work too much and have a kid to take care of to even think about it – so wouldn’t know unless I made the extra effort.”

“Dating is better in Charlotte than most cities our size. However, it seems the boozy culture can lead to more hookups than ongoing relationships.”

“Lot of single people but many lock in very early, unlike other big cities where people stay single into their late 20s/early 30s.”

“Guys in their 20s here are not too eager to take girls on dates and I’m not into the app dating scene at this point…Could be because there aren’t a lot of casual bars/spots to meet people when you’re out on the weekends. Or I’m just going to the wrong places…”

“It reminds me of college, nobody really seems serious.”

“I’ve also dated in DC and it’s kind of all the same issues, new city. One “unique” factor in CLT is that it is “small.'”

“There’s a date place for pretty much every style of couple (preppy, traditional, non traditional, artsy, country, hipster, eclectic).”

“Young professionals all wanting the same thing…”

“It’s not a very diverse crowd.”

“Very hard to be a single woman in her late 20s/early 30s. Seems to be one of the negative things Charlotte is known for.”

“Wish there were more social gatherings for singles to meet in town.”

“Lots of cute, smart, normal girls. Not very many guys that fit this description.”

“It’s better for people in their 20s than people in their 30s.”

“Online dating in Charlotte is the only way to go, and that feels weird given all there is to do.”

“Tinder game strong.”

“Soooo many banking bros.”

“Still small enough that you run into ex-dates too frequently.”

“As a single 20-something, it’s easy to meet people and go on dates, but it’s a drag to find someone I actually want to spend time with.”

“Bumble. Most overrated dating app.”

“Too many marrieds and too many of the same type of person.”

“Ladies – smile!”


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