Two enormous doughnuts that you need to know about

I suppose doughnut holes have their place, particularly when you’re feeling indecisive and want to sample several different flavors without really committing to anything. But mostly, they’re trash for children and the weak—like Ted Williams.

If you have a stronger will and a more mature doughnut palate that can handle a steadfast, unwavering commitment to just one flavor, these two massive doughnuts the size of your face are for you, my friend.

Suarez Bakery’s Texas Doughnut

This monster classic glazed doughnut clocks in at 7 inches in diameter. It’s $3.95 and comes with its own extra large doughnut hole in tact in the middle just in case a giant 7-inch doughnut isn’t enough to fill you up.

PS – It’s vegan.

Not enough for you? Step it up a notch (or three) with a Texas Doughnut Cake ($15). It’s three Texas doughnuts stacked into a tower, layered with pastry cream and topped with classic glaze, chocolate or white chocolate. Best birthday cake ever.

Get it: Suarez Bakery, 4245 Park Road

The Doughnut at Stoke

This fancy (read: expensive) doughnut starts with 1 pound of dough fried to order and then dredged in sugar. From there, it’s filled with diplomat cream (a mix of pastry cream and whipped cream) and topped with crumbled Heath candy bars.

It comes with a knife stabbed into it, the universal culinary symbol that you’re about to eat an excessive amount of food.

The Doughnut carries a hefty $18 price tag, but it can definitely feed several people. In fact, Chef Chris Coleman came out to see who the lone weirdo was who ordered it solo. That’s me.

Get it: Stoke at Marriott City Center, 100 W. Trade Street