Charlotte woman speaks out about growing up with two moms

“Growing up with two moms, I never really felt different than anyone else,” she says in the video. “I had two parents who loved and cared about me who made a conscious decision to have me together.”

Cooper, a graphic designer here in Charlotte, recorded the video at the request of student working on a class project at her alma mater Appalachian State University.

“I honestly didn’t know having two moms was considered ‘different’ until about middle school,” she says in the video.

Rather than keep the video private for the student’s class project, Cooper decided to post it to her personal Facebook page, revealing the “surprise” of her two moms to many of her contacts for the first time.

“For those of you who don’t know…surprise! I have 2 moms,” she said in her Facebook post. “If that makes you feel weird, you should probably watch this video – you might learn something. If not, you know where the unfriend button is.”

In an email follow up yesterday, she said she hadn’t spoken out sooner because the timing never felt right. “When I was asked by a former classmate to record a video testimonial for her senior psychology project, I knew I needed to really think hard about what I wanted to say and that if it turned out okay I would share it,” she said. “With the whole HB2 controversy going on as well, it just felt right.”

Cooper goes on to explain her normal upbringing and address some of the most common questions she’s been asked about her life.

How did you get here? In vitro fertilization.

Is your sister your “real” sister? If you define “real” as biological, yes. Same sperm donor, same mom.

Do you call them both mom? Yes and no. When speaking about or introducing her parents, Cooper refers to both as mom. When speaking to each directly, one is mom and the other is Wendy, a differentiator that was decided on when she and her sister were young.

Cooper’s candor here is generous. She is no more indebted to explain her upbringing to society than someone with heterosexual parents, adoptive parents or a single parent.

Still, having gay parents puts her in a minority and with that comes a status of “different” that she willingly addresses. “It’s never offensive,” she says of people asking questions about her life. “It’s usually just people who have never met anyone with two moms or are just curious.”

Cooper stresses in her video that growing up with two moms was never a struggle and she wasn’t bullied.

“Some people probably judged me for it and made rude comments behind my back but it was really never an issue and I never faced adversity,” she says.

But she hopes that the video serves as a way to educate those who do judge gay parents and a way to support and encourage children who face discrimination as a result.

“I’ve had complete strangers share this video and tag friends with young children being raised by gay parents that said ‘Show this to your kids!'” she said yesterday via email. “And that’s honestly the most important thing to me, letting these kids know that they are normal.”

So what did her family think of the video?

Cooper, 23, is the eldest of Leah Cooper and Wendy Laxton’s two daughters. Her sister Katie is a 19-year-old freshman at N.C. State University.

“My parents loved the video!” Cooper, who asked for their permission before posting it, said via email. “They said they were really proud of me and that I shared my experience in my own sarcastic and funny way.”

Watch Lyndsay’s video