I downloaded a dating app to find friends (really, just friends) and you should too

When I came to Charlotte, I had plenty of friends of the male variety thanks to my boyfriend, but found myself missing having girlfriends for the first time.

Being in a sorority, having girlfriends to drink wine and brunch with was never an issue. All of a sudden it was and I was kicking myself for taking it for granted.

And I think that’s an issue for a lot of women that we just don’t talk about because we don’t want people to know we don’t know how to make friends.

Enter Bumble, the girl-powered version of Tinder, and their new BFF program. I didn’t expect much from it; I had downloaded HEY! Vina, an app with the same idea, two months prior to find that the program hadn’t expanded to Charlotte yet. Would there be anybody on it? Probably not.

But like an excited yet nervous child, I went for it, and so should you. The sheer number of people on the app shocked me only a little bit less than how quickly I began matching with people.

Listen up: I want every brunch-girlfriend-needing and Scandal-obsessed twenty-something woman in Charlotte on this app because you may not believe it, but there are a thousand others in your exact same position that want to be your friend.

I promise you.

I like brunch, Scandal, wine and girlfriends. Walk me through it.

Connect to Bumble with Facebook, which allows the app to gather things like your work information, age, name and mutual friends. It doesn’t post to Facebook for you or give you away.

Then you figure out exactly what you’re looking for.

I went with people ages 21-28 within a 10 mile radius.

Note: Make sure you select BFF at the bottom. This makes you invisible to everyone looking for a date and only visible to those also looking for friends to brunch with.

Next up: Decide which pictures to use and create your profile.

This is weirdly intimidating. So much so that I began to laugh out loud and sweat nervously because it was like sorority rush all over again.

What if they swipe left because of my pictures? Or my bio? Do my pictures make me look fun?! Would I want to be my friend? Should I be clever? Witty? Sarcastic? Should I just say “Wine and Bachelor” like everyone else and be done with it? 

Then decide that you don’t like this profile and do it again. Repeat exactly four times until you find a winner.

It’s all about finding that perfect combination that screams ‘I’m fun!’ and it’s agonizing.

Start swiping, start matching.

You’ll be shocked when you realize how popular the app is in Charlotte.

And when you match with someone (which you will, I assure you), the two of you have 24 hours to strike up conversation before the connection expires.

Try to figure out exactly what to say.

I’m genuinely shocked and appalled by how nervous I get on this app because I’ve always considered myself to be confident and good at making conversation with people I don’t know. I’m good at parties where I know two other people and I’m good at walking into a meeting with a stranger. But on Bumble, it’s a totally different world for me.

If I’m being honest, I get more nervous to strike up a conversation with someone I’ve matched with on Bumble than I ever did on Tinder or ever have in real life. It pretty much feels like this:

And then I end up freaking out for five minutes before settling on “hey!” and praying that my new BFF will have something to say.

Conversations on Bumble are easy and natural and more often than not, you’ll find something you have in common, whether it’s discussing The Bachelor (Ben made a mistake) or making plans to grab wine because you were both in the same sorority.

Keep swiping, because you will make friends and you will wonder why you didn’t do this sooner.

And keep swiping and keep swiping and keep swiping until this happens (but it won’t last long, I promise you):

Trust me. Do it. This is a pro tip. See you there.

Feature photo via the Bumble app