11 reasons dog parks are like bars for the K-9 variety

During my hours of observing pooches playing, it occurred to me that dog parks are really just bars for our furry friends. Except the kind of bar where your parents bring you, babysit you, and then serve as your designated driver on the way home. Here are 11 reasons dog parks are bars for the K-9 variety.

(1) There’s always someone dressing to impress.

You know when you go out there’s always going to be that one person that’s trying a little too hard: that got a little too dress up and put a little too much makeup on. Except you can’t hate on them, because they’re representing the Panthers.

(2) There will be someone drinking alone, and there will be someone judging.

There’s always that one person at the bar whose intention is to drown their sorrows in alcohol. Be it because of a bad week, a breakup, or just because they don’t have any friends to drink with. I totally support this, but be warned there will be people watching with disapproving eyes.

(3) There’s always that one creep.

Dear guy on the dance floor trying to grind on every girl you see, we’re talking about you. We don’t appreciate your creepiness, so please go away and never come back. Love, any girl that’s ever been to a bar.

(4) It’s okay to dance on tables.

Your favorite song comes on. You get up on the table before your friends can stop you. And you shake your moneymaker like somebody’s ‘bout to pay you. You have no shame. We applaud you, and you love it. But you will be less likely to love the proof your obscenities on social media the next day.

(5) You shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.

You see that person at the bar that you’ve seen the past three weekends that you never in a million years thought you’d like. You strike up a conversation over a few beers, and become friends. Best friends really do come in all forms.

(6) Good hair days are always welcome.

Nothing is better than going out for the night knowing that your hair looks perfect. Hitting up the bar feeling like Queen Bey; flow on point. Good hair days don’t always come around, so flaunt it if you got it.

(7) Sometimes you lose your friends, but it’s totally fine cause you can hang by yourself.

We all know those nights where you have to form a human chain to get through the dance floor, but then still end up losing a friend. Who needs a wingman anyway?

(8) There will almost always be a fight.

People will get too drunk. They will yell. And they will fight. Most of the time it’s men trying to assert their masculinity. Or it’s girls who enjoy ripping out people’s weaves and scratching people with their well-polished fingernails. It’s bound to happen. It’s just a fact of life.

(9) Like kinds will flock together.

Hey! You’re a brunette; I’m a brunette! You like dirty martinis; I like dirty martinis! Let’s be best friends.

(10) Friends will always have your back.

Whether you need someone to back you up in a fight, a wingman to help you find that squeeze, or a shoulder to cry on, don’t worry, bro, I’ll be there for you. That’s what friends are for.

(11) #squadgoals

We all think our friends are the best people on earth, because well, they are. They are your heart and soul. So what if your squad doesn’t involve swarms of gorgeous supermodels like Taylor Swift’s squad, we’re all allowed to dream, right?