Rebuttal: In defense of Charlotte’s eligible bachelors

As a single guy, I often think about my approach to dating and relationships. So, when I read this article by Dana Boone on 12/17, I took issue with the idea that there is a lack of eligible bachelors in Charlotte – mostly because I am one.

I won’t dispute that the perception may be there since 52.4% of people who read that article agreed with its premise. That being said, perception doesn’t always equal reality.

So my response to that perception is – what’s up with that? Should single men assume there are boatloads of single women out there waiting for us to do something about it? If so, then I clearly don’t know where any of y’all are.

The majority of my friends are married or in relationships, and when I ask them if they know any single girls they generally say that they don’t.

Most of their friends are married or in relationships, too. In some cases they just don’t think their single friend would be a good fit – and I respect that. If my friends are going to set me up, I want it to be with someone they think I’d be compatible with. But you’d think if there were so many single women out there, that I’d run across a quality one at some point.

My conclusion is that there is a lack of single women.

Now I’d like to brag a little. I like to think I meet the criteria of a “good guy” – meaning that I have the qualities that women typically say they want. I’m an educated young professional (BA from USC and a Masters from Clemson) with a good job that I enjoy, I’m healthy, own my own condo, I have a good sense of humor, I have no issues with commitment, I periodically work with charities and I have the most awesome high-energy boxer puppy ever (seriously – she never gets tired).

Probably the worst things about me are that I don’t go to church as often as I’d like, and I hate folding laundry. Oh, and mornings. I hate mornings, too.

So what do women want?

This is the age-old question that every guy struggles with, and for the most part we’ll probably never know for sure. Mel Gibson couldn’t even figure it out, and he to electrocute himself to get super powers in that movie. I’m willing to admit it if I’m going about it the wrong way, but I don’t think that I am.

So single ladies, I want to meet a quality girl. I know that won’t happen in nightclubs, so how do I meet you? Apps? Bars? Gyms? According to Ms. Boone’s article I should be looking in all of those places – but I’d like to point out some issues I have with those locations and why you won’t find me there.

Apps are the worst.

I’ve tried the big ones (both paid and free). While I got a few dates out of it, I found that more often than not girls are unresponsive, and the ones who replied to me generally lied or misled me about who they were, or they were more interested in lame pickup lines than anything else.

I’ve also learned that just like guys, girls can be superficial too. I’m 5’8”, and at the risk of sounding narcissistic, I’d like to think I’m at least somewhat visually appealing. At a minimum I’m not repugnant, so that should be good for something.

I put good pictures out there, and tried to create the most honest representation of me and I get zilch. The only thing I can come up with is that girls only want someone who is 6’9” at a minimum, and so maybe if I were a little bit taller, or if I were a baller, I would be in a better position. But unlike Skee-Lo, I’m impartial to ’64 Impalas and I’m not going to write an epic ‘90s rap song to complain about it.

Clubs/bars?

The single worst place to meet a girl you can take home to meet your parents is at a place with loud thumping music. No, thanks.

You’ll find me at a local taproom with a group of friends instead – or better yet, at a concert at the Music Factory. I want to have a conversation with you, not yell over bad remixes of music I don’t care for in the first place on the off chance I’ll get your fake number.

I’d rather stay at home and try to exhaust my puppy while watching the YouTube video of Nick Offerman (Ron Swanson) drinking whiskey by a Yule log than deal with the club scene.

Gyms?

Nope. Mostly because I don’t go. I have a philosophical issue with paying a monthly fee for physical activity. I get my exercise in other ways – mostly trying to deal with my puppy’s endless energy. Plus, I swear I’ve heard girls complain about being hit on while they’re trying to work out.

Breweries?

Ok, you got me there. I do like breweries, though I don’t go to them that often. Maybe I’ll add “drink more beer at breweries” to my list of resolutions for 2016.

I can’t speak for all guys here. I don’t have an answer to the single person conundrum. All I can do is tell you how I choose to deal with it. I just live my life. Most of the women I’ve met, and with whom I thought there might be future, I met through friends. I try to do new things that will result in making me a better person, and hopefully in doing that I’ll find the right girl along the way.

A couple of years ago I joined up with the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation (shameless plug here – you should check them out if you want to meet some awesome people and help out a great cause) and raised a bunch of money for them through their Guys & Dolls and Cycle for Life events.

I’m going to try to start going to church more, and now that the days are getting longer I’ll probably hit up the dog park in Frazier Park so my boxer puppy can get some of that energy out.

(Scott can be found on Twitter, @bscorrell)