Why you should care about the Belk College Kickoff Game

• Spent the last year volunteering in third-world countries without phone access
• Just awoke from a coma (P.S. Welcome back!)
• Captured by pirates

That’s it. That’s the whole list. For the rest of you, there is no excuse. Even if you are only a marginal fan of college football or sports in general, you should be excited that the Queen City is the launching pad for the 2015 season. It’s a huge deal for fans around the country, and we should be proud that it’s happening in our backyard. Here’s why you should be excited:

(1) It’s the first major Division One* football game of the year

Much like the Super Bowl, the first college game of the year is an event unto itself, with even casual fans tuning in just because they’re glad to have the familiar drone of ESPN-broadcast football back on their television screens. Since May, major sports news outlets have been counting down to this game. It represents a chance for rabid college football fans to slake their thirst after the summer sports doldrums, where minor workplace disagreements warrant front-page sports coverage and casual sports fans get lectured for saying “baseball is boring.” There isn’t an audience all year that is more primed to have a good time, and their eyes will all be on Charlotte to watch two regional teams engage as blimp shots frame the Charlotte skyline coming back from commercial breaks. The Queen City is ready for its closeup.

(2) The game has major implications for the success of each team’s season

College football has the most important regular season of any major college sport. With the bowl system and the College Football Playoff’s limited tournament, every game during the fall has major postseason and championship implications, and this game is no different. UNC and South Carolina both need to win to get their seasons off on the right foot, and this is the type of early season matchup that can dash the hopes of a conference or even national title if you let it slip through your fingers.

Not only that, but this game is a serious rivalry and border braggin’ rights are very much in play. Both schools have their own primary rivalries that consume most of their emotional energy, but these schools are far from friendly neighbors. This matchup goes all the way back to 1903 and UNC owns the edge in the series all-time (34-18-4). South Carolina has dominated the series in recent years however, winning six of the last eight meetings going back to 1981.

(3) The timing of this game is perfect

Your old pal TW is here to tell you how to have a perfect weekend. Labor Day is this Monday. Chances are pretty good that you have Monday off from work. Three days off is pretty great, but four days off is better. So here’s what you do. You take Friday off from work. You get yourself tickets to the Belk College Kickoff Game. You hit up FanFest and have your socks rocked off by 20 Ride, a Zac Brown tribute band, as you welcome in the triumphant return of the college football season. You can go nuts (see #5 below) because you’ve got Friday off to recover. Then, boom, you’re looking at three straight days to hit up the Whitewater Center, your brewery of choice, and still cook out to welcome the unofficial start of fall. That’s the good stuff.

(4) FanFest is going to be awesome

Most of the events and festivals in Uptown have their setup on Thursday afternoon and don’t really start becoming interesting until the evening hours when all of us uptown worker bees have emptied out of our cube farms. This is annoying because the setup is just early enough to impact the commute home, but due to the schedule I don’t get an opportunity to enjoy the fruits of the setup. Well, not so with the FanFest. This thing kicks off at noon on Thursday and runs until 5 p.m. It will feature food trucks, live music, and mascots, all centered around The Bank between Mint Street and Romare Bearden Park. I’ll be there at 12 o’clock sharp to grab some Tin Kitchen and watch Rameses horrify small children.

(5) There will be booze served at the stadium

If you are a veteran of attending college sports, you know that this can sometimes be an issue. Many schools have on-campus stadiums, some of which have rules against serving alcohol during sporting events. This leads to plenty of creative tailgate binge drinking, and enterprising ways in which to sneak airplane bottles of booze into bathrooms. To this day I am unable to drink Pepsi without my brain flashing back to particularly raucous bourbon-fueled Saturday college afternoons. Ain’t no hangover like a noon-kickoff Pepsi-and-bourbon hangover. Also, Pepsi is gross.

My point is that you don’t have to worry about that on Thursday. You’ll be able to enjoy a frosty beverage on a warm-but-cooling evening in the early fall as the sun sets behind the stadium. It seriously gets no better than that.

(6) Steve Spurrier is hilarious

Like him or not the Ol’ Ballcoach is the source of some great sideline and off-field hilarity over the years. From throwing his headset to posing shirtless to a mercurial work ethic, he’s always good for some hijinks. Even if you don’t have a dog in the fight between these teams, there’s a good chance you’re in for a treat from one of the greatest characters in the sport.

**Or FBS if you’re a stickler for accuracy. I’m still not used to this.

College Football in the USA image via Deadspin. Spurrier via CBSsports. Duff Beer via Amazon. All others via BelkCollegeKickoff.com