The hardest struggle Charlotteans face: Finding REAL ice cream

I did some research. I polled all my friends (five people) about their favorite ice cream shop in Charlotte. (Notice I said ice cream.) Here are their answers.

One person, I repeat, ONE person gave a real ice cream shop.

Real ice cream doesn’t come from a chain or a gelato place. Real ice cream is hard, homemade ice cream.

It’s the kind where you walk up to a little shop where an awkward (but nice) teenager is working the counter. It’s the kind where that same teenager has to use a metal scooper and little muscle to get the ice cream out of a tub. It’s the kind where the ice cream is so dense and delicious that sometimes the cone breaks. That’s how you know it’s real ice cream.

It’s become very clear to me that when it comes to ice cream suggestions, my friends are a major disappointment.

Maybe I just need cooler friends? I checked out Yelp to see what other Charlotteans were saying. Below are the highest rated ice cream shops in Charlotte:

(1) Va Di Vie 

(2) King of Pops

(3) Menchie’s Frozen Yogurt

(4) Bella Fresco Café

(5) Crepe Cellar

You have got to be kidding me. Number 1 and Number 4 are gelato places. Let’s get something straight here: Gelato is not ice cream.

Gelato is ice cream’s weird cousin that hangs out in the Wendy’s parking lot and sells fake I.D.’s. Gelato wants to be ice cream. It will never be ice cream.

We all know that King of Pops, Number 2, is a popsicle. Let’s be honest with each other: Popsicles are what you’re forced to eat when there are no other frozen options available.

Crepe Cellar, Number 5, confuses me because their menu lists only one kind of ice cream: vanilla bean. Either they sell the best freaking vanilla bean in the state or this some sort of practical joke.

And finally, let’s talk about Number 3: Menchie’s. The frozen yogurt craze has taken Charlotte by storm. It’s become almost as popular as opening an ironically named brewery.

I don’t have to tell you that frozen yogurt isn’t real ice cream. Frozen yogurt shops have no scoops. They have no ice cream tubs. They have no awkward teenagers. (Actually, never mind, they do have those.)

I hear you protesting, “But Mary! Frozen yogurt is ice cream’s low calorie option!”

Fine. If you’re honestly telling me that you walk into some wacky-colored yogurt shop and leave with frozen yogurt topped with only fruit, then you have a point.

But we both know that after trying 12 different flavors of yogurt you head to the toppings bar and load up on crushed Oreos, peanut butter cups AND hot fudge. Then, when it comes time to weigh your 20% yogurt, 80% toppings, you feel guilty and try your best to avoid eye contact with the 15-year-old cashier.

My point is: If you’re going to take the time to go out for ice cream, get the real thing. The best part is that real ice cream has the toppings ALREADY IN IT. And, no, you don’t have to pay extra for them.

Elizabeth Creamery (#26 on the Yelp list) saves Charlotte from a dismal ice cream showing. But one real ice cream shop?

That’s just not right.

So Charlotte, before we open up one more freaking brewery (although we still need one named “Hopscotch” that serves beer and scotch), let’s make an agreement. We first need to open up another real ice cream shop. I’m thinking it could be in NoDa so I can go there after I stuff my face at Cabo Fish Taco.

This ice cream shop will have metal ice cream scoopers. This ice cream shop will have homemade waffle cones. This ice cream shop will have ice cream so real that you have to literally bite into it. And because of all this, this ice cream shop will no doubt have a line out the door.

Charlotte needs real ice cream. I’d be willing to help with the shop’s name creation, marketing and, of course, taste-testing.

Who’s with me?

Some photos via Elizabeth Creamery’s Facebook page and Bella Fresco’s Facebook page.