So you’ve got some time to kill at Charlotte Douglas International Airport: Where to eat, drink and be weary

I hate it so much I’d sooner drive to any destination less than 12 hours away because once you factor in the transit time and parking and security and inevitable flight delays (if you’re me), that’s about how long it takes to fly anyway. Except when I’m in my car I’m not breathing recycled fart air produced by strangers.

I’m a cursed flyer. It seems every plane I try to get on is running way behind schedule, overbooked or not departing at all.

Sometimes it works in my favor. One time my flight from Miami to Charlotte was overbooked so I gave up my seat for a $400 voucher that I used to fly to the Bahamas later that year. Right on cue, my Thursday flight from Charlotte to Miami was also overbooked and I almost tackled another lady trying to beat her to the counter to volunteer to stay back in exchange for another voucher. She won, I departed.

Before I left, though, I decided to document the best places to waste your time if you ever find yourself stuck at the Charlotte airport for extended periods of time.

Main Atrium

Charlotte is a lovely airport. Once you’re through security you’re greeted by a huge glass atrium with a row of rocking chairs because we are awesome. There’s a Papa John’s and TCBY and some other garbage here but I’m going to show you where Pinkberry is in a second so just hold on.

If you’ve got substantial time to kill, bypass the fast food joints and settle in at 1897 Market, Beaudevin wine bar or Tequileria.

My brother and I once drank ourselves into oblivion at Tequilieria when our flight was delayed indefinitely. It’s really the only way to fly. My dad taught me that if your flight is delayed, huffing and puffing doesn’t do anyone any good. Go have some fun and get over it because there’s nothing you can do about it. I don’t think he meant drink a lot of tequila but that’s ok.

Terminals A & B

Largely worthless. There is a Bojangles in Terminal B that some of you might care about and Cinnabon is in A, but no. We’re not doing this.

Terminal C

I find myself departing from or arriving to C most frequently. It’s got a seafood place that I find alarming and offensive inside a landlocked airport but lots of people seem to like it. C’s crowning glory is a sizable Bad Daddy’s Burger Bar with in-house seating and a to-go counter. Long live the black bean burger.

Terminal D

Welcome to wonderland. D is what’s up. If you hate Starbucks as much as I do and have passed over their seven other locations in the airport, you’ll find an Illy Italian espresso bar here. I’ll take it. D also has a Pinkberry, a sushi bar and Bacardi’s Rum Bar, which is important for when your flight delay exceeds 4 hours.

Terminal E

A hidden gem, E is home to Whiskey River (random) and PZA, a far superior alternative to Sbarro’s garbage pie covered with cheese.

So there you have it. If you eat one of those pre-wrapped sandwiches that was made three days ago, you deserve to suffer. There are so many other options.