Confessions of a Charlotte Date-a-Holic

If you are single in Charlotte, or if you have single friends, you have probably heard how difficult the dating scene is here.

You can meet people at bars, church, and the NoDa run club. There’s even a regular speed dating event.  I tried a group blind dating thing for a while; Match.com (where I went on 22 dates in one month and met my best friend, but zero potential romances); and E-harmony (yikes), but nothing generated anything sustainable.

By the time I turned 30, I felt like I’d tried every option (OK, fine, I didn’t try Farmers Only), and while I was meeting tons of guys and going on LOTS of dates, the constant failure was kind of wearing me out.

When you have to get ready for yet another first date and you are trying to hype yourself up.

Just over a year ago, I decided that it would be better to stop complaining about the dating scene, and start laughing about it.

So I created this little GIF blog: Confessions of a Date-a-Holic. I started it anonymously, for a couple of reasons:

(1) So that my married friends can live vicariously through me (without actually knowing it was me).

(2) To document all of my ridiculous stories so that one day I can write a book.

(3) To help me deal with the occasional rejection with laughter (GIFS are freaking funny, man! If you don’t believe me, check out #GIFWarsCLT).

The name started out as a joke, because I wasn’t really a date-a-holic.  I would go on one or two dates a week, and then post GIFs referencing a few funny things that happened. But then this app called Tinder came out, and soon I was going on an average of five dates a week, sometimes two in a day.

I have a policy that if there is something that attracts me to a guy – humor, bowtie, cute dog – then I will give him a chance.  I’m not one of those girls with a picture in my head of what the perfect guy looks like, and I think that there is something interesting about everyone.

When you’re swiping on Tinder and you get a match – EVERY TIME.

I’ve scaled back quite a bit lately, and occasionally I do meet someone I like and we try to make it work, so I’ll stop posting for a while. Or sometimes I just need a break, like for the holidays.

When my mom wants to know if I’ll be bringing anyone home for Christmas this year.

Now, for the people who are going to read this and think everything I post is exactly true to life, or who think that I’m a terrible person for doing this to the guys I date… Let me add a disclaimer: these scenarios are based in truth, but are often exaggerated by the addition of the reaction GIF and/or my phrasing. They are also not all my stories – occasionally friends will share something with me and I will post with their permission. And no one knows who they are, or I am.

So relax, people – it’s just comedy!

When I have concert tickets and I ask three guys and they all respond no, or don’t respond at all. 

Also, most of the time I poke more fun at myself than at my dates.

I once joined a book club for singles (which felt more like a support group) and in the first session, they asked everyone to share a common misconception about being single. Then they asked, “What do you do to deal with it?” No one answered that question and most of the others seemed taken aback. Me? I laughed out loud. Because that’s my answer – laugh about it! What else can you do but enjoy it? Even if the date is bad, or your friends tell you that you are going to die alone…That crap is funny.

Whenever someone tells me that I need to just settle down and be happy with a nice guy – whoever he may be.

This blog is probably going to make some people laugh. It’s definitely going to offend other people. If anyone finds out who I am, I’ll probably never get another date again. But, in the end, the point of this confession is that sometimes you just need to change your perspective about your life.

I no longer think the dating scene in Charlotte is terrible. Now I think it is hilarious and awesome! Once I stopped being so serious, I could enjoy it for what it is. So get yourselves out there, go on a few dates and have fun!

What I do to myself in the mirror when I resist texting the guy I just met and he finally texts me first!