Motherhood's costly rewards
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Returning to work after having a baby has never been easy — and a lot of pressure on American moms can come from fear of other people's opinions, or "FOPO."
Why it matters: Executive coach and bestselling author Randi Braun says new moms can be "so scared of being viewed as imperfect" that they lose their ability to be seen as a leader.
- 🐝 They get stuck in worker bee mode rather than rising to "queen bee" and focusing on strategic, impactful tasks.
Sociologists have documented the "motherhood penalty," the reality that women who have children receive fewer advancement opportunities or earnings boosts.
- Meanwhile, parenthood functions as a professional asset for fathers — which economists call the "fatherhood premium" in the form of higher wages, better performance reviews and more professional opportunities.
Case in point: Fathers might get kudos at work for taking their kid to a dentist appointment. Many moms, on the other hand, conceal their caregiving roles out of concern for appearing less focused or committed.
💪 In a perfect world, Braun says, the thinking should be: "Can you believe that I had a kid and I'm coming here and I'm kicking butt and taking names — and doing it all while going home and changing diapers?"
- She looks to working moms mentoring younger colleagues, pushing policy changes, and leading by example to disrupt norms and make parenting more visible in the workplace.
Her advice for new mothers reentering the workforce:
- 👀 No sudden moves. "Give yourself the permission to be in information-gathering mode, not decision-making mode."
- ⏱️ Experiment with your schedule at first, and resist locking into permanent choices.
- ❌ Try to avoid viewing your stress as a personal failure. "You feel stressed because you are going to work every day in an environment not designed to support you." Find places to be proud of yourself and afford yourself grace.
The bottom line: "Your career is a long game," Braun says. "Being burnt out is not a sign of being a great employee or a great mom."
- More about Randi. Her next book on parenthood is titled "It Shouldn't Be This Hard," coming in early 2028.
