Galentine's Day idea: Ask your pals these questions
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Illustration: Maura Kearns/Axios
The day before Valentine's Day has become its own holiday for platonic love, known as Palentine's Day or Galentine's Day.
Why it matters: The holiday helps make love feel less exclusive and reminds us of the importance of platonic relationships — according to Marisa Franco, a psychologist, professor and author of "Platonic," a research-backed book about how to make and keep friends.
What she's saying: Sometimes people forget that "platonic love can be romantic," she says. "People are obsessed with their friends."
Every year Franco throws a Palentine's Day party for her friends, divides the guests into small groups, and has discussions around prepared topics.
Want to host a similar soiree? Feel free to incorporate some of the questions Franco asked at her last Palentine's Day party.
- As you might've guessed: The topic was "love."
On defining love:
- What's something you've learned about love that you no longer believe?
- What's a way you might need to be loved that's different from most others?
On platonic love:
- What have your friends taught you about what it means to love?
- What's the single most powerful moment of love you've had in friendship?
On self-love:
- Do you agree with 14th-century German theologian Meister Eckhart that "if you love yourself, you love everybody else as you do yourself"?
- When you are in love with someone, do you feel like more or less of yourself? Why?
On love skeptics:
- As psychologist Erich Fromm put it, there is no other institution but love that we go into with such high expectations but that fails so regularly. Why is our culture so love-obsessed despite this reality?
- Our culture often paints people who love but aren't loved back as shameful, pathetic or desperate. Is it bad to be the person who is more able to love another?
What's next: This year, Franco is planning a hygge-themed Palentine's Day party with cozy activities.
Go deeper: Take Franco's friendship questionnaire to determine what kind of friend you are (and how you can be a better friend).
