Jim VandeHei: Man up

• So does Scott Galloway, also the father of two sons, who has written a provocative book that's out this week, "Notes on Being a Man." I asked Galloway — who has a huge following through podcasts (including "Pivot," with Kara Swisher), newsletters and more — to sum up his core thinking.

In two columns for Axios Finish Line, I'm highlighting Galloway's views, then offering my own. We're asking readers — you! — to email us their own opinions on this timely topic. Then we'll post some of your illuminating responses.

• Galloway is a New York University professor who has studied and written about fatherhood for years. The topic can be controversial. But I've followed Galloway long enough to be convinced there's nothing political about his very practical thoughts on helping young men be better men. Galloway argues the vital components fall into three buckets. In his words:

1. Protect: "In Yiddish, the word mensch translates to 'a just, honest, or honorable person," Galloway writes. "It's a good shorthand phrase for healthy masculinity in 2025. The first instinct of a mensch is to protect, to sacrifice for something bigger than oneself, and not to pick on the vulnerable but to look out for your family and community."

• "Real men don't start bar fights; they break them up. They don't shit-post other people or their country; they defend both. A man's default setting should be to protect, in any situation. If he conflates being male with coarseness, savagery, bullying, predation, abuse of power, etc., he's not masculine — he's anti-masculine."

2. Provide: "Historically, being a provider was a man's job," Galloway continues. "But women also becoming breadwinners doesn't mean the role is any less important for men. At the outset of his career, every man should assume he needs to take economic responsibility for his household. A man with a decent job in a strong economy is creating wealth, paying taxes, and earning social capital, not to mention his own self-respect. He also provides stability, support, love, and trust for his family, community, and himself."

• "Being a provider sometimes means getting out of the way of a wife or partner who may be better at the money thing, and picking up the slack elsewhere without being weird about it."

3. Procreate: "The third leg of masculinity is ensuring the species survives," Galloway adds. "This doesn't mean having children is an obligation — lots of people can't or choose not to, and are instead great uncles, aunts, cousins, friends, and mentors — but arguably it's why we're here."

• "A good [parent] invests time, energy, and resources to raise kids who are stronger, smarter, faster, more impressive — better, basically — than he is," Galloway concludes.

The three legs of this stool combine to create the ultimate objective for any male — what the author of "Of Boys and Men," Richard V. Reeves (my Yoda on this subject), calls surplus value. Most people under 18 have negative value: They take in much more than they give.

• Surplus value means making the transition to giving more back, without keeping score. For men, this means providing more love to others than was given to you — becoming a better son, brother, friend, or employer. As a father, your job is to create surplus value as measured by being a better dad than your dad was to you.

The bottom line: If you're providing surplus value to your friends, partners, family members and work colleagues, then congrats — you're winning.

• 💡 Jim would love to hear YOUR experiences and thoughts. Please drop him a blunt line: [email protected].