Axios Finish Line: The gift of pain
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Illustration: Brendan Lynch/Axios
Jensen Huang — founder and CEO of Nvidia, the AI chip company that's on a rocket ride — last week offered a sadistic wish while speaking to Stanford students: "I hope suffering happens to you."
- Without pain and suffering, there's no resilience, he argued. And without resilience, there's no greatness.
- "Greatness is not intelligence," Huang said. "Greatness comes from character. And character isn't formed out of smart people. It's formed out of people who suffered."
Why it matters: The best stuff, at work and in life, is often unearthed in dark, sad, scary, painful moments.
- It's a great paradox of life and business. Most of what we've learned about starting and running companies (Politico, Axios and Axios HQ) has flowed from weathering our own mistakes — and suffering.
A recent personal example: My wife, Autumn, was back in the hospital for the sixth time in a year, battling a persistent medical issue. (She's now home, and continues to recover.)
- Few things provide me more solitary joy than fly-fishing for bonefish on the Bahamas' skinny flats. I had a trip on the books, but of course bagged it instantly.
- A joyous weekend was suddenly sad. But in the suffering, something magical happened: One by one, all three of our college kids — unprompted — left school to be with their mom.
My daughter skipped final-semester festivities to read to her mom — and keep me busy. Our two sons showed a tenderness you rarely see in 19-year-old men.
- The weekend ended with deep, indelible conversations about life, death, meaning and grit.
- You never wish for pain or fear for your kids. But mine would be less clear-eyed, less empathetic, less connected, less loving without it.
Huang is right: We do need pain to lower our expectations, or at least calibrate realistic ones. A few ways to think about this at work and home:
- Fully embrace it. We naturally want to run from pain. Don't. Throw yourself into the fullness of it. Don't deny what's happening — explore it. Understand what's happening, why, and how you and others are handling it.
- Learn from it. Almost everything good I know about relationships, business and leadership was born of painful mistakes or situations. I'm sure that's why Huang argued you need suffering before you get character — and character before you get any semblance of greatness. That's why at Axios, we talk a lot about "when shit happens, shine" — to encourage people to find good in bad jams.
- Prepare for it. We want to protect our kids, and ourselves, from brutal realities of life — tragedy, sadness, failure. We're better off fortifying ourselves for this reality by being more honest, talking more deeply about the layers of life, and strengthening our minds, bodies and souls for inevitable hardships.
- Share Huang's view. His speech grabbed my attention because so few people admit it. More leaders, parents and teachers need to talk about tough stuff.
A little grit goes a long way. A lot of grit creates Nvidia — and deeper meaning.
This column appeared in Axios Finish Line, our nightly newsletter on life, leadership and wellness. Sign up here.
