Axios Finish Line: How to make the most of your dinner party
Add Axios as your preferred source to
see more of our stories on Google.
Illustration: Annelise Capossela/Axios
On Christmas, my daughter, Sophie, pulled one of my favorite party tricks and asked everyone to share one meaningful thing they learned in 2023.
- For two hours, two dozen family members — from small kids to grandma — shared things about themselves and others that otherwise might go forever unknown. Rapturous silence gripped the room. Tears and smiles flowed.
- I told Mike Allen about it, and he did the same parlor game with 20 Allens gathered in New Orleans for their annual New Year's bowl trip. Same result: Everyone was super-honest. Each answer got applause. The kids came up all weekend and said they wanted to make it a new tradition.
Why it matters: This further validates my belief that people want to share, want to go deeper, want to say hard, emotional things. But they often need to be prompted, bluntly.
- People, opened up, are often more interesting, insightful and thoughtful than you expect — if they allow you in.
The backstory: I hate small talk. It feels phony, like wasted energy. I'm terrible at it. But I love prying into people's lives to better understand what makes them tick.
- So starting when my (now-college age) kids were quite young, I would keep a list of questions to ask them, their friends and family members to make conversations more real and illuminating. I call them "parlor games."
- It has stoked some of the best conversations of my life.
Your assignment: Below are some of my favorite questions, all designed to get to more fully know strangers or close friends. You can send me better ones, which we'll share in a future column — and I'll steal myself to avoid awkward silences.
- There are 8 billion people on Earth. What's something you do more or better than 99.99% of them? I typically tee this up by saying I eat more egg whites in a week than 99.99% of people. (36 egg whites!) Or, as co-founder of three companies (Politico, Axios, Axios HQ), I have created more jobs than all but .001% of humans. Or Mike writes more published words than — well, maybe anyone!
- What's your single biggest fear?
- Put humility aside. What is your one greatest strength? Put insecurity aside, what's your one greatest weakness?
- If you could do any job, no matter how implausible, based on your skill set, what would it be?
- Why are you alive at this moment, in this place? (This is designed to get at meaning-of-life stuff, not logistics!)
- If the next five years were a chapter in your biography, what would it be about?
- If you died today, what would be your biggest regret?
This column appeared in Axios Finish Line, our nightly newsletter on life, leadership and wellness. Sign up here.
