Ever wondered if your dog could help you score a date? Well, a new Portland dating show is betting your mutt is a better matchmaker than the dating apps.

The big picture: Local comedian Andie Main is launching a DIY dating series called "Fetching" next month, where dogs — not algorithms — will be making the matches.

• In a city obsessed with dogs and equally disillusioned with dating, Main told Axios she hopes this lighthearted and silly experiment can counter an "increasingly isolated world" and spark real connections.

How it works: Any Portlander who is "romantically and emotionally available" — regardless of gender or sexuality — and has a friendly dog is welcome to audition for about 20 slots at Migration Brewing at the end of May.

• "I'm screening out for psychos," Main said of the process. "It's to gauge commitment and energy."
• Those selected will gather at a farm in Hillsboro later this summer, where they'll release the hounds all at once. Matches are made based on which dogs play and "naturally vibe" the best together.
• Six people will be chosen to go on filmed dates, and beforehand they'll undergo a light "Queer Eye"-style makeover with the help of Main's comedian friends, like Carlos Kareem Windham, Mx. Dahlia Belle, Ally J Ward and more.

The dates aren't necessarily meant to spark romantic love. "It's just two people who are meeting because their dogs brought them together," Main said. "If any long-term relationships come from it, that's awesome."

Between the lines: The concept started as a joke during the pandemic.

• Main, newly single, adopted her dog, Sadie, to help with loneliness. Then she got to thinking, "How could my dog help me meet a person?"
• Years later, a casual chat with a fellow dog owner at the park — who happened to be a TV showrunner — helped turn the bit into a real production.

What's next: Don't expect Netflix (not right away, at least). Episodes will drop via YouTube and will be clipped out for sharing across social media.

• If the idea takes off, Main hopes to take it nationwide.

But first: Portland — where, she promises, "we're gonna leave no butt unsniffed."

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The honeymoon, if it ever existed, is over for new Blazers owner Tom Dundon.

Why it matters: A series of stories detailing the billionaire's attempts to cut costs with the team have landed poorly with the fan base.

Context: Dundon, whose name sounds like a sound effect from "Law & Order," has reportedly made a number of unpopular moves to save money, per The Athletic.

• He reportedly clamped down on late checkouts at hotels and opted out of the customary free T-shirts for fans at playoff games.
• Dundon also left behind the team's two-way players and a photographer when traveling for the playoffs and is considering getting rid of one of the team's two mascots.

What they're saying: There is real concern over Dundon's spending habits, and after the Blazers stole a road victory in San Antonio Tuesday, many couldn't help but have some fun at the new guy's expense.

What we're watching: If cost-cutting translates into wins, fan backlash may ease, but Dundon's early moves have fueled skepticism among the Rip City faithful.

More meme roasting

🍔 In-N-Out Burger will open a Vancouver restaurant today off Mill Plain Boulevard — the first of its kind in the Portland metro area. (The Columbian)

🏙️ Portland leaders are weighing whether imposing a vacancy tax on empty downtown office towers could push owners to fill long-idle buildings. (Willamette Week)

• Meanwhile, two recently merged marketing agencies — Mad Fish Digital and Grady Britto — plan to relocate their headquarters to downtown Portland's West End. (Portland Business Journal)

🏳️‍🌈 Three nationally-beloved drag artists — Tenderoni, DeJa Skye, and Lushious Massacr — will headline this year's Portland Pride festival in July. (Portland Mercury)

👎 Several city councilors declined to participate in talks about using public money to renovate the Moda Center because they were asked to sign non-disclosure agreements. (KOIN)

🦪 Dan & Louis Oyster Bar, one of the city's oldest restaurants, was at risk of closing last year until a swarm of patrons brought it back from the brink. The owners are now saying the business is "not out of the woods" yet. (The Oregonian)

Even if the Iran conflict ended now and the Strait of Hormuz fully opened, don't look for a quick return to pre-war gas prices.

Why it matters: Costlier fill-ups are the most direct and visible economic effect of the war for many Portlanders.

Driving the news: Energy Secretary Chris Wright told CNN Sunday that gas might not drop all the way down to the pre-war level — averaging just under $3 per gallon in the U.S. — until next year.

• But President Trump appeared to contradict him in comments to The Hill yesterday, seeing a faster drop.

Zoom out: The national average for a gallon of regular unleaded was just over $4 as of yesterday, per AAA.

• That would be a screaming bargain in Oregon, where the average was nearly a dollar more, good for fourth highest in the nation after California, Hawaii and Washington.

What we're watching: Patrick De Haan of the price tracking and analysis firm GasBuddy told Axios it would take months for U.S. prices to reach pre-war levels if the strait opened fully and permanently immediately.

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Gen-Xers and elder millennials looking for an alt-rock nostalgia salve need look no further than Powell's tonight, where former Hole bassist Melissa Auf der Maur will be chatting about her new book "Even the Good Girls Will Cry."

• Billed as "part rock memoir, part travel diary, part psychedelic scrapbook," the book offers an inside look at Auf der Maur's journey from her early days in Montreal to touring with Courtney Love soon after the death of Kurt Cobain.

If you go: Auf der Maur will be in conversation with Melissa Maerz at Powell's (1005 West Burnside) at 7pm.