Axios Closer

March 31, 2026
Tuesday ✅.
Today's newsletter is 762 words, a 3-minute read.
📈 The dashboard: The S&P 500 closed up 2.9%.
- The market rallied big on the final day of the quarter, with traders seizing on signals that the Iran war may be nearing an end.
- The tech-heavy Nasdaq soared 3.8%, Brent crude oil fell to $103 a barrel and 10-year Treasury yields eased to 4.32%.
🥶 Today's stock spotlight: Nike shares dropped over 8% in extended trading, despite beating quarterly expectations, as revenue continued to slide in China.
1 big thing: A big food bet
Unilever inked a deal to sell its food business to McCormick — a giant bet that mayonnaise will go well with spices and yellow mustard.
- The big picture: The deal creates a $66 billion condiment powerhouse under the spice and sauce maker, as Big Food refocuses its portfolios.
Zoom in: McCormick, whose lineup already includes Cholula, Frank's RedHot and French's mustard, will pick up Hellmann's mayonnaise and bouillon brand Knorr from Unilever.
- Unilever shareholders would own about 65% of the new company — which will have about $20 billion in annual revenue.
⚠️ Zoom out: The major food conglomerates are struggling to adapt to consumers' changing tastes.
- In February, Kraft Heinz paused a planned split that would have separated Heinz, Philadelphia cream cheese and Kraft Mac & Cheese from brands like Oscar Mayer hot dogs, Kraft Singles and Lunchables.
- Keurig Dr Pepper is currently digesting an acquisition of Peet's Coffee that'll also see the company split in two.
- PepsiCo. and J.M. Smucker could shed assets too, under pressure from activist investor Elliott.
McCormick says it expects the combined company to benefit from expanded global reach, enhanced scale in grocery stores and commercial kitchens, and greater resources to invest in innovation, brand-building and distribution.
🔭 What we're watching: McCormick has feasted on growth through bolt-on deals, but food megamergers have historically proved tougher to digest, WSJ notes.
📉 The impact: McCormick shares closed down 6.1%.
If you need smart, quick intel on dealmaking, get Axios Pro Deals.
2. OpenAI opens door to individual investors
OpenAI completed a $122 billion funding round at an $852 billion valuation, marking the company's largest raise to date.
- The intrigue: The company is beginning to let individual investors access its stock, months before the ChatGPT maker is expected to launch its IPO, Axios' Dan Primack writes.
Zoom in: OpenAI said today that its shares will soon be included in several exchange-traded funds (ETFs) offered by ARK Invest, the Cathie Wood-led firm that previously invested via its venture capital arm.
- OpenAI also sold around $3 billion of shares to individual investors in a recent private placement — part of the new funding round — with clients of three "very large banks."
3. Other happenings
✂️ Oracle is reportedly cutting thousands of jobs as debt pressures mount and AI spending rises. (Business Insider)
💉 Novo Nordisk is testing new Wegovy pricing across telehealth platforms — a sign it's rethinking how to sell its once-dominant weight-loss drugs under pressure from Eli Lilly and digital health upstarts. (Axios)
🛳️ Royal Caribbean Group is rolling out new credit cards as cruise lines adopt airline-style loyalty tactics to keep travelers spending between trips. (Axios)
4. Everyone's getting dirty
Mike's Hard Lemonade is jumping on the viral dirty soda craze with a boozy "Dirty Lemonade," Axios' Kelly Tyko writes.
- "Dirty soda" — a mashup of soda, syrups and add-ins — is moving from a DIY novelty to a new flavor playbook for brands chasing Gen Z.
Driving the news: Mike's Hard Lemonade unveiled its new product today, a non-carbonated twist on its core drink inspired by the TikTok-fueled trend.
- 🗣️ It's one of the brand's biggest innovation bets in years, an idea borne from "keeping our ear to the TikTok streets" as dirty soda gained traction, Stanten Jones, senior manager at Mike's owner Mark Anthony Brands International, tells Axios.
Zoom out: Mike's isn't the only company getting dirty.
- Pepsi has rolled out a creamy "Dirty" Mountain Dew, while Twizzlers recently launched edible "straws" designed to pair with dirty soda drinks.
- Fast-food chains are leaning in too: Taco Bell rolled out "Dirty Sips" nationwide, while chains like Swig are building entire menus around drink mixes.
🗓️ On this day in 1918, the U.S. imposed Daylight Saving Time for the first time. The goal was to save energy, and specifically to conserve coal while World World I strained global supplies. Contrary to popular belief, it wasn't created to help farmers. In fact, most farmers hated it, as it threw their daily schedules and transport rhythms into chaos.
Today's newsletter was edited by Pete Gannon and copy edited by Amy Stern.
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