Mortality and coffee: Inside KC's Death Cafe
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Colorful and fitting for the occasion. Photo: Abbey Higginbotham/Axios
A monthly meetup at the Waldo Crows Coffee is a judgment-free place to talk about our shared inevitability: We are going to die.
The big picture: Death Cafes have grown worldwide as more people look for informal spaces to talk about dying and loss outside of hospitals, funerals and crisis moments.
Context: Host Kalista Schwartz tells Axios that KC's Death Cafe brings people of all ages together and follows one simple rule: Speak freely.
- She began hosting after caring for her grandmother near the end of her life and navigating the loss of her dog.
- "Those experiences changed my relationship with death from something scary to something very real and human," Schwartz says.
She emphasizes that these meetings are not professional therapy nor a grief support group. The goal is conversation, not counseling.
- Topics range from medical choices to funerals to what scares people most.
Inside the room: At the most recent meeting, about a dozen people crowded around a candlelit table, books about dying scattered between coffee cups and open hands.
- People from different backgrounds who might not otherwise cross paths introduced themselves. While telling their stories, laughter is mostly what filled the room.
What they're saying: "I'm not scared of dying. Been there, done that," KC resident Penny Thompson tells Axios.
- Thompson beat the odds at age 45 when doctors told her she had a slim chance of surviving after a stroke.
- She attended the Death Cafe to share her story and push back against the discomfort that she says often follows conversations about dying suddenly.
- She says, "These are conversations we shouldn't avoid. Expect the unexpected, but don't waste your life fearing it!"
Blair Baucom, who worked for years as a mortician, said she missed having a place to talk openly about death after leaving the industry.
- "I think we have outlets for everything else," Baucom tells Axios. "Why not death? I missed talking about it without ruining the mood."
💭 My thought bubble: I live with epilepsy and joke that it will probably be how I go, which usually makes people pause.
- However, at the meeting, people nodded, and the conversation continued. No awkward silence. No mood crash. You can talk about the hard stuff without killing the vibe, and that's kind of the magic.
- Did we sit around the table and sing Kumbaya? Kind of, but that's not a bad thing. We don't need to be hardened all the time.
What's next: KC's Death Cafe is free and open to adults who come in with an open mind. The next meeting is Feb. 23 at 7pm.