Apr 30, 2017

Hasan Minhaj's best jokes at WH Correspondents' Dinner

Cliff Owen/AP

The 5 best jokes from the Daily Show's Hasan Minhaj at the White House Correspondents' Dinner:

  1. "Welcome to the series finale of the White House Correspondents' Dinner"
  2. "We've got to address the elephant that's not in the room. The leader of our country is not here, and that's because he lives in Moscow and it's a very long flight. It'd be hard for Vlad to make it."
  3. "You know Donald Trump doesn't drink, right? ... Think about that. That means every statement, every interview, every tweet completely sober ... He tweets at 3AM sober. Who's tweeting at 3AM sober? Donald Trump, because it's 10am in Russia and that's business hours."
  4. "Hillary Clinton couldn't be here tonight. She could have been here, but I think someone told her the event was in Wisconsin and Michigan. What? You guys, you know, Nate Silver told me that joke would kill. Nate Silver told me there was a 74.1% chance of that joke killing."
  5. "Sean Spicer gives press briefings like someone is going through his browser history while he watches."

Go deeper

China tries to contain coronavirus, as Apple warns of earnings impact

Data: The Center for Systems Science and Engineering at Johns Hopkins, the CDC, and China's NHC; Note: China refers to mainland China and the Diamond Princess is the cruise ship offshore Yokohama, Japan. Map: Danielle Alberti/Axios

As China pushes to contain the spread of the novel coronavirus — placing around 780 million people under travel restrictions, per CNN — the economic repercussions continue to be felt globally as companies like Apple warn of the impact from the lack of manufacturing and consumer demand in China.

The big picture: COVID-19 has now killed at least 1,775 people and infected more than 70,000 others, mostly in mainland China. There are some signs that new cases are growing at a slower rate now, although the World Health Organization said Monday it's "too early to tell" if this will continue.

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Apple CEO Tim Cook

Apple issued a rare earnings warning on Monday, saying it would not meet quarterly revenue expectations due to the impact of the coronavirus, which will limit iPhone production and limit product demand in China.

Why it matters: Lots of companies rely on China for production, but unlike most U.S. tech companies, Apple also gets a significant chunk of its revenue from sales in China.

America's dwindling executions

The Trump administration wants to reboot federal executions, pointing to a 16-year lapse, but Pew Research reports the government has only executed three people since 1963.

The big picture: Nearly all executions in the U.S. are done by states. Even those have been steadily dropping for two decades, per the Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS) — marking a downward trend for all executions in the country.