Feb 14, 2023 - Things to Do

Squash your Valentine's Day blues and name a cockroach after your ex

A graphic that says "We'll never tell... shhhh. and has the florida aquarium logo, over top a picture of hissing cockroaches

Graphic: Courtesy of the Florida Aquarium

If you're not feeling the love today, why not take out some of your angst on your ex? They probably deserve it!

What's happening: The Florida Aquarium in Tampa invites you to name a cockroach after your no-longer-loved one.

  • "Can we name them after insurance adjusters?" one commenter asked in true Florida style.
  • "I honestly wouldn't do this to the cockroach," said another.

Details: For a $10 donation, you’ll receive a commemorative certificate and a photo of the cockroach.

  • You can send a spiteful message, too. The best (family-friendly) confessions will be posted with anonymity on The Florida Aquarium’s social media.

Plus: The aquarium also has free, Instagrammable digital cards featuring images of larvae and sayings such as "Not even an apocalypse can rid us of your presence." Burrrrn!

The big picture: Zoos from New York to Texas are offering similar options:

  • The El Paso Zoo's "Quit Bugging Me" program is free and lets you name a cockroach, which will then be fed to zoo animals. "Submit a name of anyone who has [been] bugging you! An ex, boss, mother-in-law, we’ll take them all!" the website says.
  • The Houston Museum of Natural Science invites you to "Seal it with a hiss" and likewise name a roach, for $10.
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