
Photo illustration: Allie Carl/Axios. Photo: Hunter Martin/Getty Images
Thought experiment: Let’s say the Phillies take it all this weekend. People have a litttle too much fun. Enough that maybe Monday's a good day to stay home from work.
- Just hypothesizing here, guys.
OK, but how might someone call out?
There’s raw honesty:
- "Look, boss, even if I come in, I'm telling you I'm gonna be about as productive as Houston's Alex Bregman was at the plate."
- "I'm like the Phillies bullpen. I should get an extra day off for rest."
You play the sympathy card:
- "I ate too many Schwarberfest hoagies and free tacos. Call a medic!"
- "Sorry, boss. I stubbed a toe when I was 'Dancing on My Own.' Gotta get an X-ray."
Or just play the wild card:
- "I was on my way in, but Lance McCullers Jr. is my Uber driver, so I had to make a quick run home."
- “Someone stole my sign-in sheet, so I’mma head out.”

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