Feb 10, 2022 - Politics

How to fake it: Springfield edition

Springfield capital

The Illinois State Capitol building. Photo: Daniel Acker/The Washington Post via Getty Images

The state Senate is in Springfield this week for the 2022 spring session.

Why it matters: Due to COVID-19 and winter weather, the session has gotten off to a rocky start.

  • So if you find yourself at a Super Bowl party with people starting up conversations about Illinois politics, here's a quick guide on how to fake talking about it.

Context: The session usually runs from January to the end of May. But because of the upcoming June primary, this year's session will end by early April.

  • A quick quip about how "state lawmakers barely work" would be appropriate.

The latest: It's a new day in Springfield. Gone are the once-powerful speaker Mike Madigan and Senate president John Cullerton, replaced by Rep. Chris Welch and Sen. Don Harmon, respectively.

Driving the news: There will be bills helping small businesses, plus bills stiffening penalties for smash and grabs. But for your purposes, bring up House Bill 4305, which would lower the age your kid can stay home alone from 14 years old down to 12.

  • A well-timed "12-year-olds can't put their pants on straight, let alone work a stove" will make the other partygoers respect you with their laughter.
  • And maybe that will earn you first dibs on the guacamole.

All kidding aside: Illinois lawmakers and politicians need to tone down the rhetoric.

  • Rep. Deb Conroy is getting death threats due to political misinformation shared by some state GOP lawmakers and candidates who refuse to retract it.

💭 Justin's thought bubble: I know it's an election year and you are rallying up your base, but this behavior is unacceptable. If you can't try and come together for the good of this state, go run for Congress.


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